Dear Orlando Magic,

I just wanted to send you a quick thank you letter for your “performance” last night. Since David Stern and the NBA loves to kill all the momentum from what had been a great postseason I had to wait five full days for the NBA Finals.

I had no idea that primetime network television was so bad.

Anyway.

So needless to say I was excited to watch you guys take down the evil empire known as Kobe Bryant and the Los Angles Lakers. I couldn’t wait to see Dwight Howard prove he is a Top Five player and not just the most loveable player in the league. Who didn’t want to see a 3-Point aerial attack actually work in the Finals? Yeah we all like fundamental post play but watching a team hit a ridiculous amount of three’s is just fun.

Some guys in particular who deserve to be singled out:

To Hedo Turkoglu: I just wanted to thank you for proving that not all athletes care about making money. Clearly you don’t care about your next contract otherwise you wouldn’t have laid that 3-11, 4 turnover stink bomb last night.

To Rashard Lewis: Kudos’ for keeping the debate: “Is your 6-Year, $110 million contact the dumbest non-Isiah Thomas deal done in the past ten years?” If you had actually had shown up and played well than that debate might have been put to rest. Thanks for keeping the fire alive on that argument.

To Rafer Alston: I thought I had gone insane in your last series against Cleveland. I could have sworn I had seen a dude that looked just like you wearing your jersey consistently hitting his jump shots. I thought I was hallucinating. But after watching your relatively irrelevant performance last night I know that the real Rafer Alston is back with us and not some sort of imposter who was confusing me.

To Mickael Pietrus: Thanks for curing me of my mini man-crush I was starting to develop on you. Not that there is anything wrong with a man-crush but the summer is here and I need to be free and single.

And finally to Dwight Howard: I feel like I should thank you but I’m not sure I saw you on the court.

Hey I could go on. But let me just say that your 75 point, under .30 FG% allowed me to get some housework done around my place and I got to see J.J. Redick who had been exiled to the bench in the Cavs series play eight minutes, so that was a bonus.

So thanks for going out there and justifying my reason for picking you guys to win the title.