Before my annual NBA Playoff Preview I figured I’d throw out a couple thoughts on what has been going on in the world of sports recently. Yes I know that since I have never done an NBA Playoff Preview I probably shouldn’t have used the word "annual". Whatever …

(One)

Ron Artest is heading towards a level of financial ruin that hasn’t been seen in these parts since Latrell Sprewell was paying too much money to gas up his yacht. Forget his past legal fees; Ron must be losing his shirt in entourage fees. I just learned that Ron has a paid personal assistant whose jobs include finding organic cookies at all hours of the night and demanding his assistant to get rid of “giant snake eggs” from his backyard. Now I don’t care if they turned out to be just mushrooms, you have to be paying top dollar for that kind of service.

(Two)

I may be turning a bit on the Phoenix Suns. I was convinced they were doomed for a first round exit a couple weeks ago but after watching their comeback against Golden State I am starting to believe in them again. Down by 11 with 7:09 to go they looked dead and buried. Then Amare Stoudemire showed up. In the last seven minutes Stoudemire went to the free throw line nine times and scored 17 points. The team decided to put the game in his hands and Amare just dominated a team that needed to win to get into the playoffs. A great comeback win fueled by Amare and a “youthful” Shaq. Phoenix actually has the front court scoring needed to get through the playoffs. Now about their D …

(Three)

How the hell does Kris Humphries have his own website!? Don’t you at least have to be, you know, a “good” player before you get you own site? At least he doesn’t get a .com at the end; instead he’s stuck with the loser .org.

Oh in case you’re interested:

http://www.krishumphries.org/

(Four)

In what has to be the smartest move a TV broadcaster has done since FOX introduced the third down line, the NFL network has booted Bryant Gumbel from his play-by-play “duties”. Lets be honest the man made football not fun, a difficult job unless you’re employed by the Detroit Lions. I don’t think any of us will forget where we were two years ago during the Thanksgiving contest between the Kansas City Chiefs and Denver Broncos when Gumbel tried to call a play. I’ll give him credit he does know that if you get 6 yards on first down then you only need 4 more yards to reach the required 10 yards for another first down. Unfortunately beyond basic arithmetic the guy just couldn’t hack it as an NFL announcer.

(Five)

Is anyone else as excited as I am about the JaMarcus Russell era? Why you ask? Well let me introduce you to my favourite quote so far about the up coming NFL season that has nothing to do with Chris Henry:

Lane Kiffin: "JaMarcus has been able to play at a big weight. He really has phenomenal feet for that size, to be able to move around for that size. You're never going to play with him at 260 or 255. If you think that's impossible, that's not his body. I think as long as you are around 270 [with him], you're doing really well."

I can’t wait for JaMarcus to show up at mini camp in stretch pants, a grease stained sweater just stinking of Arby’s.
I just hope he can break the record for fattest QB in the league. Right now the hands down winner is the Giants Jared Lorenzen.

Oh, just in case you’ve forgotten, here is what Jared looks like:



(Six)

At what point do we have to look at sports being a leading candidate for heart disease and obesity? With so many MLB stadiums running all you can eat food promo’s at what point will we see a sharp increase in heart attacks before the 7th inning stretch? I read about a couple in Pittsburgh who ate four hotdogs, three hamburgers, three ice-cream sandwiches, two places of nachos and a bag of peanuts. The scary part was compared to what some fans can put back; that amount of food seemed almost moderate.

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