With all the focus on the Jose Calderon / TJ Ford great switcheroo, I thought I’d go in a different direction with the Raptors.

On Monday I had the privilege of hanging out with 25 grade five students, along with Sam Mitchell and his dedicated children’s charity team, “The SaMarc Dream and Achieve Foundation.”

Sam and his partner Steven Conville, the Portfolio Manager and Investment Advisor at Blackmont Capital, have begun to establish the Canadian arm of his charity that originated in Atlanta. The event was all about children hanging out with Sam and his staff, going through basic drills at the Raptors’ practice facility.

The kids came from an “at risk” school, but you would never know. They were as friendly and polite as any child I have encountered. In fact, considering they were on a field trip hanging out at the rather impressive 9th floor Blackmont boardroom, being fed copious amounts of food, followed by multiple group pictures-- the kids couldn’t have been better behaved.

Back to Sam Mitchell. He was exactly how you would think him to be around these kids. Barking out commands like a drill sergeant, putting the rest of his staff on the spot, Sam was the portrait of an old-school coach. Of course, just when you thought he was actually taking the event seriously, he would break out into a grin and do his best to give each child encouragement while trying to teach them the fundamentals of the game.

After about an hour of drills, the kids were able to break off and just shoot the ball at will at one of six different baskets. What struck me was that the kids weren’t interested staying close to Sam trying to curry favour with the head coach. It wasn’t that they weren’t interested or in awe of him, rather they just loved to play basketball. They just wanted to run around and take impossible shots at nets that must have seemed forever away. They were having more fun than most adults could ever have on a basketball court. Sam, Steve Conville, and everyone from both Blackmont Capital and The SaMarc Dream and Achieve Foundation should be proud of themselves.

These sorts of events don’t get the attention they deserve, but I won’t go on a moralistic rant about it. Little slices like this are difficult to sell to the masses, but I was glad to be a part of it.

Alright, so TFC kicks off their season Saturday in the beautiful city of Columbus. Okay, I take that back – they’re playing in Columbus. I’ll leave it at that. Although expectations for the season aren’t all that high for the team (considering they signed no new players of any significance), the fan support is not wavering. Nearly 2000 TFC fans will be making the trek to Columbus to support squad as they begin the new season. I repeat that, almost 2000 fans! This kind of fan support is unlike any other sport team in the city! Yes, there are Leafs fans, Raptors fans, and Jays fans wherever they go, but this size, scope, and organized commitment to travel with the team is really stands on its own. TFC fans should be applauded for this; making games an event and a spectacle not to missed.

I’ll be heading down with a camera to capture all the debauchery of the proceedings following the RPB and U-Sector. We’ll be airing some of what goes down, while also including a whole lot of online content in the coming weeks. Also, be sure to check out Sunday’s Toronto Sun for a complete re-cap of what went down, through the eyes of yours truly. Seriously, I’m really looking forward to the trip and experience. As a bonus, right now, it’s a balmy 16 degrees in Columbus, and on Saturday it’s going to be 9 C. Perfect weather for beers and some footy!

A side note – kudos to Manchester United sitting 5 points clear atop the Premiership table. Conversely, shame on Liverpool’s Javier Mascherano for his antics Sunday. There is nothing worse than a whiner on the pitch, and Mascherano was all that and much worse before, during and after receiving his red card. His actions cost his team the game, and could possibly cost them a Champions League spot.

Til next time,
gw

Couple thoughts from the first two rounds of the tournament:

-Loved watching the performance of West Virginia’s Junior Forward Joe Alexander in their 73-67 defeat of Duke. Not only was his line impressive (22 points / 11 rebounds / 8 FT attempts & 3 blocked shots) but his entire demeanor on the court just screamed we are not going to lose this game. The highlight had to be his crazy block on DeMarcus Nelson followed by “informing” Nelson that he may want to consider not shooting the ball again. There is a reason why Bobby Knight said that Alexander was the MVP of the season half of the season.

-Sticking with big men who I knew nothing about before the tournament, I’ve become a big fan of Xavier’s Senior Forward Josh Duncan. Yeah he had four fouls against Purdue but still managed 16 points and 5 boards in 17 minutes. Duncan was outstanding against Georgia scoring 20 points on a ridiculously efficient nine shots. In Xavier’s two win’s Josh has gone 15-18 from the free throw line, has 13 rebounds and only 4 turnovers. Just one of those guys who has a great feel for the game.

-I was two points away from my prediction of Stanford being knocked out of the second round! Am I the only one who doesn’t trust Coach Trent Johnson after watching his first half meltdown? Also I don't care that Brook and Robin Lopez combined for 48 points and 13 rebounds in their 82-81 OT win over Marquette, including the game winning shot, I still don’t trust them. They love Disney Land and their dorm room is covered in Michael Jackson albums ... and I’m to believe these guys will come up big when it counts?

-Nothing else needs to be said about Stephen Curry … except that I called for him to break out early and often in the tournament. The fact that I was right about him and Davidson is keeping me going considering the litany of mistakes I have made all over my brackets.

-Eric Gordon and OJ Mayo may want to consider staying in school for one more year

-Michael Beasley was never crazy dominant, but he was the best player on the floor for both games ... 46 total points, 24 rebounds and only 5 turnovers in a whopping 66 minutes of play.

-No one hurt their draft status quite like Roy Hibbert. Let that be a lesson to all you kids out there, skip school as soon as the scouts confirm that you will make the lottery. Roy would have been a lottery pick last year, but after a sub par regular season and fouling out in 16 minutes against Davidson … who knows where he will end up now. I have to question any big man who finishes his last game of his college career with more turnovers than rebounds.

All right let me first say I’m not an expert when it comes to picking games in the tournament, I only play one on TV. That said if you look back at history and do your research you can always give yourself a fighting chance against the so called “office experts” and the equally dangerous office secretaries who don’t know a thing about college ball. So with that said here are some favourites, some sleepers, a couple interesting stats to consider and finally some off base/no reason why insights to the 2008 NCAA Tournament.

(1) Don’t listen to anyone who says that all the #1 seeds will make the Final Four. Since the tournament went to 64 teams the number of #1 seeds that survived that far works out to 1.7 per year.

(2) Crazy stat #1 that I ripped off from ESPN:
“No. 11 seeds that score at least 73 points a game and beat their opponents by seven or more points are 21-18.”
One team that fits that bill is Kansas State.
If Michael Beasley gets hot he could easily lead K-State into the Sweet 16. Remember they would most likely take on Wisconsin in the 2nd round, a great defensive team but they do have their troubles dealing with teams who can shoot from the outside. I wouldn’t put it past the realm of possibility if we saw Beasley light them up for 30+ and carry the Wildcats to the Sweet 16.

(3) I don’t like Stanford to go far. I haven’t been impressed by their play at point guard all year. Mitch Johnson has looked shaky every time I saw him play.
They’ll most likely face Marquette in the second round, who I like to make it to the Elite Eight before losing to Texas.
Finally their coach, Trent Johnson, has one tournament game under his belt; a 20 point beat down by Louisville last year. Ouch! Not exactly the guy you want trying to come up with half-time adjustments plus without a smart a point guard the entire coaching staff will be exposed.

(4) North Carolina is the #1 team in the entire tournament but don’t look for them to win it all. The Tar Heels have the toughest bracket with Tennessee, Louisville and Indiana in their bracket. I see them getting to the finals but will be completely spent when they have to face …. I’ll get to that at the end.

(5) Now that said about Indiana, I’m not one of those people who believes they are a legit/dangerous dark horse team. They have lost three of their past four games including losses to two teams, Penn State and Minnesota, who didn’t even qualify for the tournament. Throw in the mess that is their coaching situation and I have a hard time seeing them get past the first round.

(6) Don’t be a hero and pick a seed lower than 12 to win a game. The odds are slim and no one believes you knew anything about Winthrop’s guard play anyway.
This goes to the second crazy stat that I stole from ESPN:
“Long shots are 43-360 (.107) against opponents with a seed position at least four rungs higher than them.”

(7) Davidson is a sexy sleeper pick and for good reason. They’ve won 22 games in a row and 19 of those were by 10 points or more. 6-foot-3 guard Stephen Curry, son of former Raptor Dell Curry has the kind of talent that can carry a team past a more talented opponent.
I love the fact that their point guard, Jason Richards is a senior. Experienced play at the point can easily help mask a team’s deficiencies. Yes they play in an inferior conference but they lost close games to Duke and North Carolina with Richards going for 13 PPG / 9.5 APG in those contests.

(8) A good “hot” team is Pittsburgh who joins the ‘06 Syracuse Orangemen as the only teams in Big East tournament history to win four games in four nights. Plus the team is getting fully healthy for the first time all year.

(9) With all that said … Look for the well balanced UCLA Bruins to win it all this year.

Why …

(a) They have the easiest route to the finals, does anyone really think Duke (Bad interior D), Memphis (339th out of 341 Division I schools in foul shooting) will offer much competition?

(b) I don’t trust D.J. Augustin to have much left in the tank when they face off with UCLA in the Final Four.

(c) Speaking of that game, UCLA will be looking for revenge after losing to Texas 63-61 back in December.

(d) With Kevin Love, Darren Collison and Josh Shipp they can beat you offensively in so many different ways.

(e) They are 7-1 against ranked teams.

(f) Find me a team with more tournament experience than UCLA. They’ve been to the finals the last two years in a row and will break through against North Carolina 88-74.

All hail the Madness!

Every now and then you get a great game that needs to be analyzed. Well, with Houston playing at home riding a 22-game win streak, taking on the team with the best record in Boston… as I like to say, attention must be paid.


So here are my 10 thoughts about the game:

(1) I know his offensive numbers were well below par (4-11, 8 pts, only two free throw attempts), but Tracy McGrady put on a display last night. He worked his ass off to get the rest of the team involved. His eight assists weren’t just run-of-the-mill drive and kick, and the shooter hits his shot. Almost every one of his assists created an easy lay-up opportunity for his offensively-challenged teammates. If it wasn’t for several missed lay-ups, T-Mac easily would have registered double-digit assist numbers. I’ve never been a huge McGrady fan, and what he does in the playoffs will define him as a player, but the guy has been the kingpin of the second-greatest winning-streak in NBA history and he deserves a ton of credit.

(2) That said, Houston will not go far in the playoffs with Rafer Alston at the point. No surprise here. But, just in case you have forgotten, he is wildly inconsistent, falls in love with his shot, and too often wants to go mano e mano with the entire other team.

(3) Talking about bad point guard play, that is exactly what the Celtics got with Rajon Rondo. He finished strong going 4/5 in the field for the second half, but he managed only two assists in 27 minutes and seemed legitimately intimidated by Rafer after their little shoving match before the game had even begun. To be fair, he is young and was coming off a back-to-back against the Spurs, so it wasn’t all bad.

(4) Speaking of that shoving match… wasn’t it nice to see some legitimate hate going on between two teams in the regular season? The game felt like the playoffs. Very refreshing.

(5) Sam Cassell may want to avoid putting that game on his personal highlight reel. Rafer had an embarrassing steal on him, and Sam threw some brutal passes. Yes he is a veteran, but you could see he is not in sync with the rest of his teammates.

(6) Houston rookie Luis Scola will be a great player, but last night was not his night. Kevin Garnett was dunking on him like he was Shawn Bradley, and for a high-energy guy, Scola had several lazy moments leading to offensive rebounds for the Celtics. On the plus side, his style of play will eventually lead to being punched in the face on a fairly regular basis. His flagrant foul on Tony Allen was a prime example. Scola is kind of like Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili rolled into six fouls of annoying for his opponents.

(7) Yes, Boston made the right call consistently sending 2-3 guys at T-Mac every time Houston had the ball in the half court, but their effectiveness goes beyond X’s & O’s. No team has a better collection of players who are committed to playing D. These guys have the athleticism, length and IQ to shut down any great player.

(8) Give the Rockets coaching staff credit for getting as much offense as they have with this roster over the past two months. Shane Battier, Chuck Hayes, Mike Harris and Dikembe Mutombo aren’t exactly the type of players who can create their own shot or even hit a shot.

(9) Watch for Houston to have a losing record over their next 10 games. Teams usually go thorough an emotional letdown after coming off a winning streak like this. Also with the Hornets, Warriors, Suns and Spurs on the horizon, I don’t think anyone would be shocked to see Houston go 4-6.

(10) Winning back-to-back against San Antonio (crazy comeback win) and Houston on the road is the most impressive thing I’ve seen in the NBA this season. The Celtics are the best team in the NBA-- not just the East but the entire league.

Both Wheeler and Cauz are away today - both of them frollicking about in South Beach (draw your own conclusions). We're airing a Kurt Browning 1-on-1 tonight. Figure skating probably doesn't appeal too much to our targeted demographic, but let me say this: Browning has a GREAT personality, knows how to play it up in front of the camera and, really, should be celebrated as one of our better athletes of all time.

As the wife and I sat and had coffee in Canada's most amazing city - Montreal, PQ - this weekend, I got even more pumped for the show when I found out that this month is the 20th anniversary of Browning landing the first quad in competition. For a complete read go to the article I found in The Globe here: http://www.globesports.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080314.wsptskate14/GSStory/GlobeSportsOther/home

So, I've got a nice, quiet day to catch up on some things. In the meantime, here's a bunch of stories we'll discuss in tomorrow's editorial meeting, most of these topics SHOULD make the show tomorrow night:

http://www.cleveland.com/cavs/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/sports/12057426597770.xml&coll=2 Deshawn Stevenson calls Lebron “Overrated”. In other news, our intern - Garth - just called TSN's Rod Smith "not bad".

http://www.packersnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080316/PKR07/803160672/1989 Sal Paolantonio calls Favre “overrated”. This one may have some merit.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08077/865798-194.stm Should the Pens trade Crosby? Hey Shero, just ask Ron MacLean - there's nothing he can't do! Lol.

http://www.globesports.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080316.wspt-rube17/GSStory/GlobeSportsGolf/home Tiger Woods = SICK! PS. I have a bet with my buddy Lee - If Tiger wins the Grand Slam, he owes me 4 rounds of golf. If he doesn't, I owe him one. Make this bet with as many friends as you can - now.

http://www.thestar.com/Sports/NBA/article/346787 We’ve been right all year – Raptors are shit. W'll continue to say it, without shame: This team needs a MAJOR change.

http://thestar.blogs.com/thespin/ Is Cox out of line to suggest we remove the halo that seems to live over Colangelo’s head?

http://undraftedfreeagent.blogspot.com/2008/03/milwaukee-where-crocery-bag-protests.html Bucks fans are fed up; drinking more Milwaukee’s Best than ever.

http://torontosun.com/Sports/Hockey/2008/03/16/5019726-sun.html Gretzky says Ovechkin can score 90.

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/news_story/?ID=232237&hubname= Simon says Pronger received “star treatment”. Personally, the NHL does this right. Chris Simon means nothing to this sport.

http://www.globesports.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080317.wsptbeijing17/GSStory/GlobeSportsOther/home IOC says Beijing pollution “not a problem”. Okay.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080317.wsptt17ibet/BNStory/GlobeSports - Another thing we've been right on all along - Beijing 2008 is gonna be a MESS!

http://www.globesports.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080316.wspt-soccer-canada16/GSStory/GlobeSportsSoccer/home Canada is winning soccer games. Seriously.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/845924,CST-SPT-sox17.article Is Ozzie Guillen’s act getting old? My candidate for first manager fired of the year.

http://www.thestar.com/columnists/article/346805 Frank Thomas - strugg-e-ling. AGAIN.

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/basketball/bulls/cs-080316-sam-smith-nba-draft-guards,1,7006699.column Apparently, Beasley’s gonna go first overall

I'd first like to start off by saying that I think Colin Campbell has one of, if not the, hardest job among the NHL league executives. However, that doesn't make up for his lack of disciplinary action over the events that have gone on the past few days.

Honestly, I didn't think I would have to write anything about this at the start of the NHL season. Campbell did an excellent job handing down a 20-game suspension to Steve Downie for his 'Macho Man' Randy Savage flying elbow drop on Dean McAmmond in pre-season. Campbell continued his excellence by giving Jesse Boulerice 25 games for his vicious cross-check to Ryan Kesler's face during the first week of the season and did an even better job when he gave Chris Simon 30 games for his stomp on Jarkko Ruutu. That, however, is were the excellence ends.

As I mentioned earlier, there were some events, three to be exact, that have happened over the last few days that Colin Campbell has really dropped the ball on.

I'll start off with the light and get to the heavier stuff later.

First is Steve Ott. Mr.Ott received a 3-game suspension for his elbow to the head of Colorado's Jordan Leopold. This wasn't as bad as Laraque's elbow, but it was a flagrant charge without any indication of easing up. The NHL has struggled to take head shots out of the game, so that alone should warrant him a 6-game suspension...minimum.

Next up is Georges Laraque. Georges also received a 3-game suspension for his blatant elbow to the head of Buffalo's Nathan Paetsch. As I talked about, this one was definitely worse than Steve Ott's elbow on Leopold. The play was moving up ice and Laraque skated by and out of nowhere elbowed Paetsch, not even 10-15 feet near the puck or play. It seemed, at least to me, very similar to Tie Domi's stupid elbow to Scott Niedermayer in the 2001 playoffs. Laraque should have to sit for the rest of this season, which is 11 games, and the first round of the playoffs, which could be anywhere from 4-7 games. Seems harsh but if you want to take out head shots you have to be firm.

Lastly is Chris Pronger's stomp on Ryan Kesler. I feel bad for Kesler, poor guy gets cross-checked in the face and then stomped on in the same season. I'm sure you've all seen the video, so I won't explain what happened. Pronger should be suspened for at least 20 games, including the playoffs. First with Simon, and now Pronger, the NHL can't let the players get away with these idiotic actions like they've done so with head shots. The only way to get rid of these occurrences are to take a strong stance and what better way than by dishing out a lengthy suspension to a former Hart and Norris trophy winner.

Colin Campbell had a chance to really put his foot down and send a message to the players. Instead, he just gave them a slap on the wrist and told them to go play nicely with the other boys on the playground.



Take off,
Coco

I know, I know… I write far too much about the Knicks and Isiah Thomas, but please allow me just one more. You see, today is a special anniversary for the team. Let me explain.

On Saturday March 10th, 2007, the New York Knicks beat Washington 90-89 to claim a share of the 8th seed in the Eastern Conference. Now, they were still only 29-34, but a playoff spot is still a playoff spot. Only two days later the comic-book-villain/insane-owner of the Knicks, James Dolan, rewarded Isiah Thomas with a four-year contract extension.

Today is the first anniversary of Isiah’s new contract.

Giving Isiah this kind of deal reminds me of George Bush hanging the huge banner that read “Mission Accomplished” on May 1st, 2003, on the USS Abraham Lincoln. The parallels are eerily similar: two egotistical men being given positions of incredible power they are woefully unqualified for, and both believing they are on the right track. Well, the war on terror, surprisingly, is still going on, and the Knicks are still losing the war on respectability.

Let’s get back to the fateful night of March 10th, 2007.

After their win over Washington, the Knicks won only four games the rest of the year. The team’s record since Dolan gave Isiah that ridiculous pat on the back is a whopping 22-61.

I don’t even have a follow up joke here.

The Grill Room has a lot of favourite athletes for various reasons, but one of our top NBA players, aside from Jamario Moon of course, has to be Dikembe Mutombo.

Dikembe is a nice, kind hearted person, probably the nicest player in the NBA. However, that's not what we like about him. It's the fact that he probably has the best voice in the NBA, if not of all pro sports. I think Matt Cauz described it best saying it's a mix between Oscar the Grouch and Jabba the Hut.

Here are some Dikembe Mutombo youtube links that I think you'll all enjoy:

Houston Rockets players impersonate Dikembe Mutombo : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iH4oLAvicQ
Light-Hearted Moments with Dikembe Mutombo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POkyWhh3Ihw
Dikembe Mutombo - Mt. Mutombo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdi68nTkn7o


Take off,
Coco

Don’t get fooled by the numbers from this weekend-- Andrea Bargnani is still on a one-way trip to bustsville.

Like I said, don’t fall in love with Bargnani’s 27 points on Friday. Down the stretch when they needed him to score, he didn’t. He went 0-4 in the 4th quarter and 4-6 from the free throw line. For several of his misses he was wide open, it wasn’t like the defense was game planning to stop him. Plus, his ridiculous foul in overtime on Antawn Jamison, when Mitchell had told them not to foul, was inexcusable.

Also, if you’re a seven-foot player and your coach gives you 48 minutes of time, do you think you could man up a bit and get more than five freakin’ rebounds for the game?? He could have even out-rebounded the guy he was guarding: the physically imposing Darius Songaila. For anyone who doesn’t know (I would say that is about 100% of you), Songaila is about 4 inches shorter than Bargnani, looks like an extra from Trainspotting, and yet he got one more rebound than Bargnani playing 10 less minutes than him.

Then there was the debacle that was Sunday. It’s a good thing for Andrea that Seattle turned the ball over 21 times, and that they are still far too young to compete on the road on a consistent basis, otherwise all we would be talking about is Bargnani shooting 6-21 for the night.

The problems go far beyond the numbers. He is a below-average defender and is more passive than Yao Ming when it comes to getting rebounds. When he does score, it is rarely within the flow of the offense. He floats at the three point line, gets a pass, and then one of three different things happen:

(1) He quickly takes a shot knowing he may not touch the ball again;
(2) He takes two awkward steps at the basket, at which point he realizes he doesn’t have any semblance of a post game, so he either passes the ball or takes a tough jump shot; or,
(3) He waits and waits to decide whether or not to shoot and then usually takes an off-balance three with a hand in his face.

They don’t run any pick-and-roll with Bargnani; he is strictly a pick-and-pop guy. Why is this? I know he can (sometimes) shoot, but at what point are the Raptors going to expand his game? If Rasho can run the pick-and-roll, why not Bargnani? Is he not athletic enough? I need answers to these questions.

It will be interesting to watch his growth over the next month. The team seems committed to giving him 40+ minutes a game hoping he can learn on the job. I hope I’m wrong with my assessment. I hope this is a typical sports fan knee-jerk reaction. But, I have watched him closer than any other Toronto athlete since I can remember. And from what I have seen, the future does not look bright.

Here is a little tip for the 32 NFL General Managers, don’t sign Takeo Spikes. He will destroy your team’s chances of making the playoffs. 100% guaranteed.
In his ten seasons Takeo’s teams have a combined record of 52-108.
Takeo has never been in a playoff game and has been a part of only one winning season (9-7 with the 2004 Buffalo Bills).
He’s the Shareef Abdur-Rahim of the NFL.

In case you missed it on Canoe Live ... Here is Gareth talking to Kurt Browning about the Pedigree Adopt a Dog charity that he is working for. For more info go to: mypedigree.ca

(short answer no ... read on)

First off I want to apologize for the drop off in the frequency of my writing as of late. Let’s just say that Dell and Bell have decided to form an unholy tag team alliance and thwart my ability to have the internet going on in my home. It’s in God’s hands now.

Anyway ….

There is no more compelling TV than whenever ‘Maury Povich’ trots out a couple of pre-teen moms with the age old question: “Who is the father”? Just seeing the look on the potential farther to be’s faces when he finds out he is not the father always kills me. Seriously, have you ever seen a look of pure joy like that? Bride’s and Groom’s don’t look that happy during the “I do’s” as some of these “guests” on Povich.

So with word coming out that the 2-Time Heisman runner-up and future top 10 NFL draft pick, Darren McFadden, has already fathered at least three children with three different women, it got me thinking, who are my favourite athlete fathers.

Yes I know I should be writing about Favre and the continual decline of Andrea Bargnani, those stories are coming. But for now, on to the dads.

A Couple quick notes:

(1) The final tally of women and/or children may be off. Lawyers and embarrassed athletes often make it difficult to get the exact numbers. I apologize but I can guarantee you I worked really hard to get you the most up to date figures.

(2) I tried really hard to nail down some numbers for Larry Bird and Jim Palmer but the internet has not helped me out. If anyone has any more accurate information on this gentleman that would be greatly appreciated.


The Legends:

(1) Shawn Kemp: (SEVEN illegitimate children by SIX different women)

The gold standard by which all professional athletes are measured by. Sure there are other jocks that have sired more children, but Kemp is still the go to guy when it comes to which athlete has the strongest swimmers. The fact that his nicknames include “The Reign Man” and “The Manchild” certainly doesn’t help his rep.

(2) Evander Holyfield: (NINE illegitimate children)

Oh sure you could easily make the “Evander is clearly allergic to latex” joke. But since Evander is a deeply religious man I’ll go with The Book of Genesis, Chapter One.

“And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.”

The guy is just following orders, can’t blame him for treating his penis like a weapon of mass destruction.

(3) Larry Johnson: (FIVE children with FOUR different women)

Before Stephon Marbury was having sex with team interns in the back seat of his truck their was Larry Johnson.


The New “Kids” on the Block:

(1) Elijah Dukes: (FIVE children with FOUR different women)

All right, this one I don’t get. The guy has been arrested 6 times on a variety of charges from marijuana possession, resisting an officer and assault. Really ladies this is the guy you want to be the father of your illegitimate child? If pro sports have taught us anything it’s that athletes enjoy the sacred journey of creating life.

(2) Darren McFadden: (THREE children with THREE different women)

Oh sure he ran the 4.3 at the combines but I’ll take his 3 kids by the age of 20 as a more telling number. The guy is young, clearly fertile and knows how to get the job done. Come on Raiders do what you know needs to be done and draft McFadden. Dominick Rhodes and Lamont Jordan are glorified #2 RB’s at best.

(3) Santonio Holmes: (THREE children with TWO different women)

I know what you’re saying how does Holmes make this list!? Well first let me say stop yelling, really there’s no place for that in this blog. What I love about Holmes was that he did all his damage even before he left college. This guy must have been busy. Santonio played at Ohio State, so you know that he didn’t have much time to care of his children, what with all the trigonometry and chemistry labs that he must have been knee deep in.

My theory is all these young athletes have watched one too many episodes of ‘Little House on the Prairie’ and believe that all men have a fleet of children before they’re 25.

(4) Willis McGahee: (THREE illegitimate kids)

For a guy who can’t stand the night life of Buffalo McGahee still found time to enjoy the female population.


The Unknown Champion

Jason Caffey: (EIGHT children with SEVEN different women)

This former 2-Time NBA champ has apparently had a wildly successful career off the court making the world’s population just a little bit bigger.

On a more positive note, it’s nice to see that groupies just don’t go for the star players, but they also have a place in their hearts for the role players as well.

Jason should be a cautionary tale for all athletes who feel that condoms are for the other guy. Caffey is staring into the gun barrel of bankruptcy as he can’t afford to pay the mountains of child support he owes. Last year he landed in jail due to missing payments. I’m thinking the whole condom thing isn’t sounding so bad right about now.


The King:

Travis Henry: (NINE children with NINE different women.)

It’s time to hand over the crown to Henry. Not only for the sheer numbers but he apparently did all of his love making in three different Southern States. He is kind of like the horny Smokey and the Bandit of our day.

Also since it is nine times, how can you not think of the principal from ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’, Ed Rooney, repeating the line “Nine Times” to Ferris’ mom over the phone?

Finally, I have said it before, but Henry will never retire from the NFL, never. The amount of child support this guy is facing, he’ll be playing forever. Plus you are guaranteed he will show up to camp every year in great shape and motivated to play for his next contract.

Forget his 52 point, 11 rebound performance, the best play Kobe Bryant made yesterday was an offensive rebound. What made the play even better was that moment also ended up being one of Jeff Van Gundy’s finest moments as a broadcaster.

Let me explain.

Six seconds left to go in the game. Lamar Odom is about to shoot his second free throw with six seconds left in the game. The Lakers are holding on to a one point lead. Gundy points out that Dallas’ Brandon Bass should not be lined up next to Kobe Bryant. Gundy explains that with his experience Kobe, even while giving up two inches to Bass, could easily get to the rebound if Odom misses.
So of course Odom misses the free throw and Kobe wills his way to the rebound, is fouled and forces that crazy shot by Nowitzki to send the game into overtime.

If Kobe doesn’t get the rebound Dallas has more than enough time to score and win the game. Instead, Kobe ensures the Lakers won’t lose in regulation and Van Gundy proves why he is one of the best announcers in the business. Too bad he will be a head coach again soon.
Just a crazy six second sequence in what was yet another wildly entertaining Western Conference game.